David and Marlane Rose – Manor Day Home beneficiaries - Barnwood Trust

David and Marlane Rose – Manor Day Home beneficiaries

Supporting a generous decision

In 2005, David Rose and his wife Marlane became increasingly concerned about the health of David’s parents, Stan and Olwyn, who had both developed dementia

They were becoming increasingly forgetful, not eating properly, and neglecting to take their medication. More worrying still, they were exposing themselves to risk; putting the electric kettle on their gas hob for example, and letting strangers into the house.

Having ruled out residential care, the Roses made the decision to bring David’s parents down from South Shields to live with them in Gloucestershire; a big-hearted decision, but one fraught with increasing difficulty.

Daily challenges

Having two older people with dementia in the house proved extremely demanding.

‘We couldn’t do anything; we didn’t want to leave them in the house on their own’ explain the Roses; ‘and it was difficult to take them with us because Stan in particular would just wander off. It was a nightmare. It needed two of us to look after them just to go shopping. Our freedom was totally gone. Totally.’

With Stan and Olwyn needing constant attention, the Roses quickly realised that, to manage, they would need some help and support.

A lifeline service

A local mental health nurse recommended Manor Day Home and places were found.

Stan and Olwyn went off very happily to Manor Day Home, two days a week. Stan in particular loved it, and would help out, thinking that he worked there. When his dementia made him aggressive, the staff handled it with exceptional skill – and carers from Manor Day Home even attended his funeral.

Support and understanding

Olwyn’s dementia has gradually worsened.
Now aged 82, she has become increasingly confused and has difficulty with self-care.

At home, she follows Marlane around constantly, asking the same questions over and over again.

‘We are not saints and it can be very wearing making a cup of coffee for someone that they don’t drink, time and time and time again’ explain the Roses; ‘we have soiling, we have to clean the bathroom every day. But she can’t help that. It’s not her fault.’

Feeling respected and valued

Olwyn now goes to Manor Day Home five days a week:

‘Try stopping her’ say the Roses; ‘even at the weekend she’ll be down here waiting for them to come... She loves it.’

Olwyn gets involved with all the activities: craft work, cooking and baking (she used to be a cook), games and bingo. She can have her hair and nails done, receive chiropody and have a bath; it makes a huge difference to her quality of life.

She also comes back with things to tell David and Marlane:

‘She has a little diary that goes in her bag’ say the Roses; ‘the carers write down what’s she’s eaten, what she’s been doing... And if we’ve got something going on, for example if the grandchildren have visited that weekend and she might talk about it, we put that in.’

Time to recuperate

For the Roses, Manor Day Home provides some time alone together, a chance to engage in other activities – and to support other members of their family, confident that Olwyn is being well looked after.

‘I honestly do not know what we would have done if it hadn’t been for Manor Day Home’ say the Roses; Olwyn was a smashing mother in law and a great grandmother, which is why she is here – she earned her place in this house.’

It’s wonderful that Barnwood Trust can support this warm and generous family and enhance their quality of life in such a meaningful way.

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